Editor:
I am responding to Father Gregorio’s column, “Ex-Catholics and Their ‘Unmet Spiritual Needs” (June 3). I was born and raised Catholic which included eight years of Catholic school. I left the Catholic Church because I blamed myself for being date raped at the age of 17. I was afraid of telling a priest because I didn’t want to be shamed more than I was shaming myself. It felt like a waste of time to go to church after committing a mortal sin. Two major unmet spiritual needs for me were a human model of unconditional love I could feel safe with and a practical approach to genuinely forgive myself and others.
My basic human needs, such as physical protection from predators, emotional safety and celebration of my losses were not met by my parents or my spiritual leaders back then. I felt depressed because I turned my unconscious anger in toward myself. I felt scared of speaking up and staying silent. I stopped trusting God, myself and other human beings. I felt lonely because I isolated myself. I felt unworthy of beauty, peace, order, harmony and inspiration which are what every human’s spirit needs.
Thirty years later I learned from a priest I was guided to that it was not my fault I was date raped and that as much as we humans want to say yes to God and do the correct thing, we don’t; followed by “Jesus was the Perfect Yes.” He helped me to see that my job is not to be perfect. My job is to be the best person I can be inside of the circumstances and conditions I find myself in. This is all spelled out very clearly in Matthew Kelly’s book, “Rediscovering Catholicism,” which inspired me to come back.
Name withheld by request
Maple Shade