What I learned from the other side of the desk

Teaching has taught me the other side. I know now the struggle of sharing a more enduring wisdom with a generation that has been conditioned to be “immediate” in the satisfaction of all needs.

I know now the feeling of rejection because the message of a humble and compassionate Galilean dares to confront human selfishness and exerts a price. Grace is not cheap.

I learned long ago not to take such anger personally. Growth, as I understand it, is a lifelong process and I myself have experienced all too well the meaning of failure, sin and the frustrations associated with a suddenly discovered and resented imperfection.

Yes, teachers, especially those attempting to share Christian values, are often the objects of projection, peer insanity, and other displaced adolescent emotions. Only parents outrank them in dealing with such masterful defense mechanisms. The veteran educator learns to forget the irrational outbursts quickly and knows that adolescents are quite predictable in their changeableness.

But life is not all sadness and tears, even in the topsy-turvy existence of the typical teenage whirlwind. I know now too the smiles on their faces and the excitement in their hearts as first loves and special occasions momentarily take away their preoccupation with self and confusion.

Later in life they will savor such moments and discover time has a way of dulling life’s sharp edges.

I know now that fairness is a very important virtue to the young. Nothing crushes the sparkle in their eyes more than when they believe they are being consistently dealt with unfairly by a teacher. It really helps to see their point of view. It really shouldn’t be that difficult for a teacher to admit a mistake and genuinely mean the words “I’m sorry.” Example teaches far more than words.

This is not to say students resent firmness and discipline. On the contrary, nothing robs a teacher more of his/her respect, personal and otherwise, or causes more resentment than a classroom out of control. Make no mistake about it: kids want discipline as long as they can see educators striving to be fair.

Gradually, of course, students have to be educated to the fact of life that reality is not always fair. It was preeminently unfair that Jesus was crucified. Likewise, there are many people today who suffer far more than they deserve.

Part of the joy and struggle of Catholic education in sharing a more enduring vision is the planting of a courage and hope which will deal with the pains and complexities of normal living.

The materialism and message to live life with gusto (“you only go ‘round once”) which typify the myopia of TV commercials have created a vacuum which urges a spiritual and holistic approach to life more than ever.

The other side of the desk has taught me the meaning of exposure. Fragile personalities have a way of shattering easily when you interact with the same group of kids every day of the year. Thin skin has little longevity in the classroom.

Only the foolish teacher would expect an innocent looking group of freshmen not to know every foible and idiosyncrasy in his personality within weeks. That’s where a sense of humor is so invaluable. Teaching is very self-revealing and an ability to laugh at oneself can insure against self-destruction.

Finally, the other side has taught me about unarticulated gratitude. I know now the moments are rare when a student says those magical words “thank you” (rarer still are the times when the same person thanks mom and dad). Perhaps the silence in the face of so much concern is the result of an utter fear of the “brown-nose” label. Or maybe the youngster just doesn’t know how to deal with the conflicting emotions he is feeling.

But it is precisely this difficulty teenagers have with expressing appreciation which ennobles the very profession of teaching.

For the dedicated teacher gives in a way that involves self-emptying, exposure, and real caring against a background of sometimes oppressive odds, all the while knowing little will be returned, but never doubting that miracles are occurring within the minds and hearts of young people.

I know now the other side has concretized for me the meaning of unconditional love.