When her younger sister died three years ago, Susan Booker found herself alone in the apartment they had shared, coping with both her memories and the fear that she might not be able to afford living there on her own.
“I had never lived alone,” she said. “Now I was suddenly alone. Quite honestly, I felt suicidal.”
But she describes herself as pro-life, and she reasoned that includes valuing your own life. She decided to try her best to cope with her grief, and she became involved with the bereavement ministry at her parish, Our Lady of Peace in Williamstown.
The group used to gather regularly at the parish. COVID-19 restrictions put an end to that, but the coordinators, Wendy and Glenn Harris, did not want Booker or the other members to find themselves isolated again.
“Our mission motto is no one should have to be alone in grief,” said Wendy, who is also one of the co-coordinators for the Bereavement Ministry Prayer Chain for the Diocese of Camden.
So the group traded talking face-to-face in a parish office for conference calls from their homes, and instead of gathering twice a month, they have been connecting every night of the week for more than 100 days.
Wendy initiates the phone calls, which can last up to 90 minutes. After some initial conversation, they read a psalm and say the Rosary and other prayers. Twice a month, just as before, they have their regular bereavement meeting.
“It has become the highlight of our day,” said Wendy, who works as a travel agent.
“We laugh, we cry, we feel as if they are our family,” said Glenn, a teacher at Burlington County Institute of Technology.
Most nights, up to nine people participate in the conference call. They range in age from 44-80. Two are veterans, and Wendy and Glenn left care packages on their doorsteps on Veterans Day.
The Harrises have been asked to be members of the Advisory Group for Bereavement Ministries for the diocesan Office of Faith, Family Life & Lay Ministry. Their journey has prepared them for this role.
Like everyone else in their parish bereavement group, they have had their share of heartache, including the pain of six miscarriages. When talking about her involvement with bereavement ministry, Wendy recalls her father’s struggle when his own mother died. “I don’t want anyone to go through what he went through,” she said.
Ray Chenot understands. He was married for 56 years and Maria, his wife, suffered serious health problems for the last 20 years of her life. “I took care of her totally,” he said.
One day after Mass, a full three years after her death, he was overwhelmed with grief. “I was breaking down at the altar,” he remembers. “I was in my own world.”
Getting involved with the bereavement group and their nightly prayer conferences have not only helped him cope but helped him find peace, he said.
“It is such a beautiful experience,” Chenot said of the nightly prayerful phone conferences. “This is the only way I can live now.”
Susan Booker, who still tears up talking about her sister, expressed a similar sentiment.
“I think if I don’t have anyone to talk to, it makes it a lot harder,” she said. “I am so grateful.”
She recalls experiencing some anxiety when she first joined the group, but said it faded quickly because everyone was so friendly and kind.
“I’m doing my best to welcome new members now,” she said.
Anyone interested in becoming involved with Bereavement Ministry in the Diocese of Camden should contact Mary Lou Hughes, 856-583-2903.
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