The Diocese of Camden’s Office of Family Life/Respect Life has been working to expand efforts to reach out to divorced and separated Catholics.
The Diocese’s Catholic Divorce Ministry has established support groups in several regions of the diocese, hosted by parishes and facilitated by individuals who have themselves experienced the trauma of divorce.
In his 1981 encyclical, Familiaris Consortio, Pope John Paul II said, “I earnestly call upon pastors and the whole community of the faithful to help the divorced, and with solicitous care to make sure that they do not consider themselves as separated from the church, for as baptized persons they can, and indeed must, share in her life.”
True, the church does not recognize civil divorce. Civil divorce is a state designation deeming that a union between spouses has been dissolved. A church annulment is granted only after a serious investigation reveals that the individuals who entered the covenant were incapable of living out the tenets of the sacrament.
Canon law states: The essential properties of marriage are unity and indissolubility; in christian marriage they acquire a distinctive firmness by reason of the sacrament (1056).
In his first encyclical letter, Pope Benedict XVI declared that, “Marriage based on exclusive and definitive love becomes the icon of the relationship between God and his people and vice versa” (Deus Caritas Est, Dec 2005)
State of the Sacred Union
A 2008 study indicated that 28 percent of Catholic marriages end in divorce (www.barna.org) And in January 2009, Pope Benedict warned that tribunals, the church courts of the local dioceses that have the authority to nullify the sacrament of marriage (annulment), have become too liberal in their judgements (Speech to the Tribunal of the Roman Rota)
Neither the pope nor the local church denies the pain and struggles involved in the turmoil of broken marriages — and the need to reach out to Catholics who want to be full participants in the church. In the Camden Diocese, that outreach has been advanced through the Office of Family Life/ Respect Life.
There’s no denying that, in years past, there was a stigma in being a divorced Catholic, admitted Judicial Vicar Father David J. Klein. “But the door has always been open to those suffering the effects of a broken relationship.”
Catholic Divorce Ministry is an extension of pastoral care, an avenue to healing and recovery, and an affirmation that each of the faithful is part of the Body of Christ.
The expanding schedule of the Divorce Ministry’s support groups around the diocese indicates that more people are seeking that kind of support.
Raising awareness about the kinds of programs offered — and about the need for more trained facilitators, is part of the challenge for Carol and Deacon Tom Jennings, coordinators of the Ministry to the Separated & Divorced, Office of Family Life/ Respect Life.
DivorceCare
Carol Jennings explained that the seminar programs and support group formats used in the Camden Diocese are endorsed by the Catholic Divorce Ministry, the ministry of the North American Conference of Separated and Divorced Catholics (CDM/NACSDC).
CDM was established in 1974 to create a network of support for families experiencing separation and divorce. The organization promotes the church’s “rich treasury of people, Scripture, tradition and pastoral ministry on which it can draw to serve its members whose marriages end in divorce.”
CDM serves as “a major resource to dioceses, parish clergy, and religious and lay leadership in the areas of divorce ministry training and distribution of publications.”
DivorceCare is one of the program resources used in the support groups around the Camden Diocese. The 13-week program uses a DVD series featuring a range of professionals who discuss the experiences and emotional issues of divorce.
DivorceCare would be the most appropriate program for those new to the ministry’s support groups, Jennings explained. (Two other programs offer additional opportunities and resources for participants to continue to explore their own experiences and feelings.)
Debbie Wolk, of Our Lady of Peace Parish, Williamstown, is a trained facilitator. As a participant in one of the DivorceCare seminars, Wolk saw how her group reacted to the personal experiences relayed in the DVD series. As the weeks passed, she observed how people began to open up during the discussion period. Participants related to the segments on anger, depression, forgiveness and other topics, and soon felt comfortable discussing their own stories.
Therese McCloskey, of St. Luke Parish, Stratford, is another trained facilitator. She has been surprised at the bonds that developed within the small groups she’s worked with.
“The men seem especially lost at first,” McCloskey observed, “but as the exchanges grew more open, warm support and friendships grew from them.”
Jennings explained that the facilitators are divorced and recovering Catholics, an important qualification as the men and women try to establish an environment of trust within the small groups.
“I was hoping for something like this for years,” said McCloskey. “I was looking to the church to help me get through this. ”
Experienced in the pain and suffering of divorce, yes, explained Jennings, yet the facilitators are not counselors. They do not offer any kind of advice to participants.
“We also discourage other group members from offering their advice,” Wolk said.
The last session of the 13-week DivorceCare program focuses on annulments. The facilitators help to dispel some of the rampant misconceptions about the annulment of a marriage and provide information about the annulment process.
Two of the most common misconceptions about annulment concern the legitimacy of children from the marriage and about the cost of the annulment process. (The children are legitimate and the fees (about $800) are paid in increments as the application proceeds through each step.)
Father Klein said that when these issues are cleared up – and when the time parameters of the annulment process are understood (typically between one and two years), there seems to be a sigh of relief and the individuals can prepare to focus on what will be needed to present their case.
Father Klein said that because so many people are getting support from therapists, professional counselors or support groups, more people feel psychologically prepared to approach the church for an annulment than perhaps has been the case in years past.
“In availing themselves to the offerings of the Divorce Ministry,” said Father Klein, “and by getting involved in these support groups, the hope is that individuals no longer feel that they are walking through this process alone — that the church is walking through this process with them, giving them the support and compassion that they need.”
For more information about support groups, contact Carol or Deacon Tom Jennings: 856-663-8166 or cdmofcamdencounty@yahoo.com
For more information about the annulment process, click on the Tribunal tab at http://www.camdendiocese.org
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