Like many Americans, I watched the Today Show segment that featured Paula Deen’s explanation of what triggered the fallout over the racial slur she admits that she made during a deposition in May. She ended with a tearful admission that she made this hurtful remark 30 years ago and that she never meant to hurt anybody.
In an effort to find out more about what had happened, I researched the 149-page deposition to learn what Paula Deen actually said. I found that this firestorm is about more than the use of racial slur a long time ago.
I learned that Ms. Deen admitted to using the slur in describing a robbery that happened many years ago when she was a bank teller. She states that during the robbery, an African-American man held a gun to her head.
Also during the deposition, Ms. Deen was asked about remarks that were reportedly overheard describing ideas she had for celebrating her brother’s wedding. Her description of the ideal wedding for her brother involved black middle-aged men dressed in white jackets, black bow ties, and black trousers. She admitted that she would love for her brother to experience a very southern-style plantation wedding. When asked what era she referred to in this vision, she admitted it was during the era of slavery. When asked if she used a racial slur to describe these men, she said, “Not, because that’s not what these men were. They were professional black men doing a fabulous job.”
As an African-American who grew up in North Carolina in the 60s, I understand that the issue of race in the South is a complicated one. The lives of many blacks and whites in the South were intricately woven together since slavery. While hatred and acts of violence were carried out against African-Americans in the South, there were many other instances where whites and blacks lived harmoniously and with genuine affection for one another.
The key to this peace and harmony was a clear respect and adherence to the societal norms that governed Southern society – a society in which racial inequality was a given. For anyone in this present day to express the view that he or she nostalgically longs for the days when African-Americans were slaves is hurtful.
I take Ms. Deen at her word that she did not intend to harm anyone with her words. After all, she is a product of the Old South. Tearfully, she admitted, “I is what I is.”
Ms. Deen is in turmoil and has suffered tremendously during the past few weeks. She is clearly remorseful. Her final words during that interview struck a deep chord with me. She said that if anyone of us has never said anything that we have regretted, to pick up a stone and hit her.
It is time to put down our stones and walk away. It is time to forgive. It is time to heal.
Corlis L. Sellers is the former Coordinator of the Racial Justice Commission for the Camden Diocese and parishioner of St. Andrew the Apostle Church in Gibbsboro.
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