On Jan. 25, the church celebrated the feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul. It is no accident that this feast occurs exactly one month after Christmas since it is an extraordinary model and tribute to the overwhelming power and grace of the poor Child in the manger, the incarnate Son of God, who was born, lived, died, and rose from the dead for our sake.
Several years ago, an acquaintance of mine, a convert to the Catholic faith, would often speak about her conversion experience. She naturally assumed that I had also had such an experience at some point in my life, even though she knew I was a cradle Catholic. Unfortunately, I never had such a “wow” moment and, I must admit, I couldn’t help but feel cheated. How wonderful it would have been to have a dazzling, thunderous revelation of the risen Lord Jesus. But no such luck. I had always tried to be faithful and open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, so why wasn’t I ever rewarded with a conversion experience like hers?
It has only been through reflection and hindsight that I have been able to catch a glimpse on occasion of the Divine presence in my life. These experiences are usually defining moments in life: the birth or death of a loved one, a marriage, an ordination, the changing of a job or career, the resolve to make a radical change in behavior.
Upon further reflection, I am reminded of the experience of the prophet Elijah (2 Kgs 19). He was fleeing for his life from the murderous designs of the wicked Queen Jezebel, whose wrath he had incurred by defeating and slaying all her pagan prophets. When he reached Mt Horeb, he was told to wait for the Lord to come to him. He endured a violent wind, an earthquake, and a fire, but God was not in any of those. Then he heard a tiny whisper and, sure enough, it was there that the Lord revealed himself to him. Not quite the Apostle Paul’s drop-down God-moment, was it? But it was no less real and powerful.
If we think back on our lives, we are sure to discover at least a few whispers calling us to conversion. They are only tiny spiritual sparks as opposed to Saint Paul’s thunderbolt experience of the Divine. Be on the lookout today and every day for such sparks because all it takes is a tiny spark to ignite a great spiritual fire.
Father Edward Kolla is parochial vicar at Christ the Good Shepherd Parish, Vineland.
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