The moment I knew without a doubt that God was calling me to religious life was one evening after work, when I had dinner warming up in the oven.
I had been discerning religious life, in particular with the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. I had always wanted to get married and have a very large family. God had been showing me signs that he wanted me to become a religious sister instead, and I was still resisting. However, I was trying to really discern His will for my life.
In addition to attending discernment retreats, I was starting to implement spiritual practices into my life that religious sisters lived, such as attending daily Mass, regular spiritual reading, and praying the Liturgy of the Hours. The Liturgy of the Hours is the formal prayer of the Church, consisting of the reading of psalms and other scriptures at specific periods throughout the day. With the help of my spiritual director, I was attempting to pray Morning Prayer and Evening Prayer. The prayer book can be a little tricky to learn, and my spiritual director suggested that I could pray a shorter version that was printed in the Magnificat, a devotional periodical. I switched back and forth between this shorter version and the fuller Liturgy of the Hours.
That night, I got home from work late. I put dinner in the oven, and I was very hungry. I did not feel like praying the full Liturgy of the Hours, but I felt prompted to. I picked it up but then said to myself, “I am too tired and hungry.” I put it back down and picked up the Magnificat. Again, I felt a stronger urge to pray the Liturgy of the Hours, so I picked up the full version. Then I convinced myself I was too tired and hungry to pray it well anyway, so I put it back down. But, yet again, there was that urging, insisting that I pray the Liturgy of the Hours. I sighed. It was the feast of Saint Maria Goretti, so it was even a little more complicated finding the pages to pray in honor of her feast.
When I got to the Scripture reading, I realized why I kept being urged to pray with the formal version. It was 1 Corinthians 7:32, 34, “The unmarried man is busy with the Lord’s affairs, concerned with pleasing the Lord. The virgin – indeed, any unmarried woman – is concerned with things of the Lord, in pursuit of holiness in body and spirit.”
Bam. God was telling me right then and there, “I want you to give your whole life to me. This is what I am calling you to do.” The very next day, on July 7, 2007, I made my intention known that I wanted to formally apply to the IHM sisters.
Trust me when I say that we religious women can be distracted and “concerned” with many things aside from the Lord. We have to be very intentional about putting God first in our day and ensure He’s the last thing we are thinking about before we go to bed – as well as throughout the day. We face temptations like everyone else and have to battle them.
However, I am grateful that as a consecrated religious, God is right in my face, all the time. Every convent we sisters live in has a chapel with Jesus truly present in the Eucharist in the tabernacle. Mass and the Liturgy of the Hours are incorporated into our regular schedule. Everywhere we turn, there is a beautiful, inspiring holy picture or statue. We have to make the minute-by-minute decision to continue to be surprised and delighted by the way God appears in our lives through other people, through a sacred image, through the words in front of us, and through the urge to listen to His promptings.
Whether we are lay or religious, married or single, let us ask for the grace to see God in every aspect of our lives and respond to Him with joy.
Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM, is the program director at Villa Maria by the Sea Retreat Center, Stone Harbor.
at the bottom and then tap “Add to Home Screen”
