I recently opened Facebook and immediately cringed. There was a meme from a Catholic group warning people of eternal damnation. The message didn’t even name a particular sin, but it strongly suggested that very few people are saved.
As a religious sister who strives to live daily for Christ and who regularly avails myself of confession, I felt that there was no hope of salvation for me after reading that message. If I felt that way, how do others who are insecure in their relationship with God feel when they read those messages?
As Christians, we have to remember that Jesus called us to spread the Gospel – that is the Good News – but sometimes we make it sound like bad news. Is there a time and a place for warning others of the eternal consequences of their sins? Yes! However, there is a way to do it. As Saint Francis de Sales said, “More flies are caught with a drop of honey than with a whole barrel of vinegar; so too, more souls are won by one word of kindness, than by a hundred sharp reproofs.”
When I was in high school, I was trying very hard to be cool (it never quite took). One way I tried to portray this image was by smoking. I was working in an office after school, but during the summer, I was able to work full days. It was during the ’80s, and smoking in buildings was still permitted. One day, I was having lunch with this woman Gillian. As much as I liked the other women in the office, Gillian rubbed me the wrong way. I asked her if she minded if I smoked, and she responded, “Actually, I do mind. I can’t stand the smell of cigarette smoke while I’m eating.” I said, “No problem! I’ll just go outside.”
When I returned, another coworker was in the lounge and asked Gillian if she minded that she smoked. Gillian cheerfully replied, “I don’t mind at all!” Although I was usually polite around adults, I snapped, “That’s not what you said to me!” Gillian replied with a patronizing smile and said, “Well, it’s not so much that I mind the smoke; I just don’t think a young girl like you should be smoking.”
She continued, “Last night, my family went out for ice cream, and my son Teddy, who is a senior, saw an attractive young woman light up a cigarette. He said to me, ‘Ew, Mom, I thought she was cute until she started smoking.’ So, Emily, if my Teddy knew you smoked, he wouldn’t date you!”
I shot back, “Well, I wouldn’t date your Teddy! He sounds like a geek!”
Why am I telling you this story? I was basically telling Gillian, “I don’t know your Teddy; I don’t want to know your Teddy; and I don’t like you much either!”
Sometimes, when we try to evangelize by slapping people in the face with God’s rules, they reply, “I don’t know your God; I don’t want to know your God; and I don’t like you much either!”
Yes, it is true that Jesus says to us, “Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] because of me.” (Matthew 5:11) However, some people are misguided in thinking that they don’t have a responsibility for how they spread His message.
You wouldn’t introduce someone by telling others to watch out for that person’s pet peeves. In the same way, you don’t introduce God to others by telling them His rules first. That can come once they are interested in developing a relationship with Him. How do you introduce God? By telling others He created them, He has a plan for them, He loves them and His Son died for them. Invite them to your church – sometimes Mass and a meal works great – and tell them that they can ask you any questions they have about the faith. Humbly say that if you don’t know the answer, you’ll find out.
When I went back to church as a young adult, I worked with a wonderful woman named Irene who was a devout Catholic. I saw her praying on her lunchbreak and started asking her questions about the faith. She patiently and happily answered them. That was more than 35 years ago, and we’re still friends. She couldn’t be prouder that I, someone she lovingly mentored, became a religious sister.
The next time you want to share the faith, ask yourself, “Will this message draw people closer to God or turn them away from Him?” If it’s turn away, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in how you can better and more lovingly introduce people to Jesus so that they can’t wait to meet Him – here and in the hereafter.
Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM, is the program director at Villa Maria by the Sea Retreat Center, Stone Harbor.
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