Affirming their children. Setting a good example. Mustering courage to have meaningful conversations.
Such are among the qualities that help make fathers great dads, says Mark Berchem, founder of Net Ministries.
“The key for young people coming to understanding themselves and their faith is having a dad who is active and engaged in their life,” Berchem says. “I think by and large, moms have done a good job, but us dads have been lagging behind.”
In an effort to inspire men to be supportive and exceptional parents, Berchem and Manuel Huerta, retreat team director with NET Ministries, will lead a “Step Up Dad: A Day for Men” retreat March 16 in Vineland. The event – which is being offered in English and Spanish – is free and open to all generations of men, including grandfathers.
“Most men want to be great dads. But life gets busy, there are pressures at work, and before long, one, three, five years have gone by and they haven’t really done anything to be the great dad that they want to be,” Berchem says. “My hope is that this event helps a man get in touch with that desire within to be a great dad. And [to] hopefully give a man some steps that can make a huge difference in the lives of our kids.”
Working with Net Ministries, both Berchem and Huerta have years of experience in seeing how parental relationships can affect children. Since the early 1980s, the organization has been dedicated to youth evangelization and building missionary leaders by recruiting and training Catholic young adults who then lead retreats across the nation for their peers.
“[Net Ministries] tries to share with young people, before they decide to disengage with their faith, that God is real and alive and wants a relationship with them. To encourage them to take a step toward God and give Him a chance to work in their lives,” Berchem explains.
It’s through this work that Berchem began hearing a familiar theme expressed by young women and men: the pains and wounds they were carrying because their fathers were not engaged in their lives.
Berchem says these stories were among the impetus for his recent book, “Step Up Dads: Your Kids Need You!” Among the practical steps discussed in the book, which will also be addressed at the upcoming retreat:
• Spend time, not money. “Sometimes as dads, we want to create these really memorable events for our kids. But what young people really need is a piece of your time.”
• Say it: “It’s easy to fall into the, ‘They know that that I love them’ mentality. But there is something in a young person that wants to hear it. Not once or twice, but regularly communicating: ‘I love you. I’m glad you’re in our family. I’m proud of you.’”
• Relating to one’s wife: “They are our greatest partner in this adventure of raising our kids.”
The retreat will be from 8:30 a.m. to 2:15 p.m. on March 16 at Divine Mercy Parish, 23 W. Chestnut Ave., Vineland. Breakfast and lunch will be included. The retreat is being sponsored by two diocesan offices: Life & Justice Ministries and Hispanic Ministries. Berchem will lead the English-speaking track; Huerta will lead the Spanish-speaking attendees. The day will include time for reflection, small-group discussions, prayer, Mass and a consecration of the men to Saint Joseph.
To register, email annmarie.ours@camdendiocese.org or call 856-583-2904.
Upcoming Podcast with Mark Berchem
Listen to the March 4 Talking Catholic Podcast as Mark Berchem shares tips on how to be a good father, the importance of family time and a dad’s influence on his child’s faith. Visit talking.catholicstarherald.org.
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