Relationship with a saint a two-way street

Have you ever considered that your patron saint picked you?

When I was in seventh grade preparing for Confirmation, I was excited to be able to choose my own name. I did not like my name, Emily Corinne, and always loved names that ended with an “a.” I thought the name Monica sounded cool, so I decided to choose that.

“No,” my mom responded when I told her my choice and why. She said, “I’m taking you to the library, and we are going to check out a book on the saints for you to research. You will choose a saint based on her virtues, not on how ‘cool’ her name sounds.”

I still intended to choose Monica and state my reason based on whatever I read, but my mom cut me off at the pass by telling me that Monica was off the table. I was a little annoyed that my mom was taking this saint choosing so seriously, but I figured two could play at that game! I flipped through the book until I found a name that I liked. Juliana was pretty and ended with an “a,” so it fit my criteria. I skimmed the text for her virtues and presented my choice to my mother along with a worthier explanation. Although my mother was probably on to my superficiality, she accepted my choice – lesson learned.

Fast forward to my early 20s. I was a devout Catholic and very active in my church. Once I told my grandmother that I prayed regularly for our deceased relatives, including her four siblings who died at an early age. She said, “Good. They’ll pray for you, too.”

She asked me, “When you’re at church, would you look for a stained-glass window that my parents dedicated to my brother Vincent? I don’t think it’s in the church itself, but I can’t remember where it is.”

I looked all over the church, in the vestibule, in the sacristy, in the rectory, in the meeting rooms, even in the church basement … over the next 16 years.

Fast-forward to my mid-30s. I had been discerning a vocation with the IHM sisters and had decided to apply for entrance. Suddenly, I was struck with doubt. I loved my family and my parish so much, and I couldn’t see growing in my faith and relationship with God apart from that.

The sisters in my local convent invited me and another discerner for prayers and dinner one evening. While waiting for the prayer service to begin in the convent chapel, the superior tried to play a hymn on a CD, but the CD player wouldn’t work.

“Hmmm,” she said, “that’s funny. I tested it before you came, and it worked just fine.” I said, “That’s OK, I’ll just admire your beautiful stained-glass windows.” I looked up and gasped. There it was – the window I had been searching for was in the convent the whole time.

That was the sign I needed to enter the convent. I realized that God was telling me that my family, my parish and the IHM community were all one. It also occurred to me that while I was praying for Vincent, he was praying for me, too.

At the end of my postulancy, it was time to pray about what my religious name would be. After thinking of various combinations, I asked God, “What do you want my name to be,” and I heard “Sister Emily Vincent” in my heart. That made perfect sense since during my postulancy, I asked my uncle Vincent and Saint Vincent Ferrer, whom the picture depicted, to pray for my perseverance.

Saint Vincent Ferrer was a Dominican priest. Some Dominican sisters I knew were delighted upon hearing that I had a Dominican as my patron saint. They asked me who my Confirmation saint was, and I replied, “Juliana.” When they asked which one, I smiled and sadly told them the story of frivolously choosing my name and that I had no idea which Saint Juliana it was. That prompted me to read about the different saints named Juliana wondering if their stories would trigger my memory. The stories didn’t, but the date did.

Saint Vincent Ferrer’s date of death, and thus his feast day, is April 5. Although Saint Juliana’s feast day was transferred to April 6, it was originally April 5, the date of her death. Perhaps I never picked my saints after all, and it was they who picked me! Perhaps you can once again read about your Confirmation saint and see if he or she has something to say to you today.

Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM, is the program director at Villa Maria by the Sea Retreat Center, Stone Harbor. For more information about retreats at Villa Maria by the Sea, visit VMbytheSea.com. For information about discerning a vocation with the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Malvern, PA, visit ihmimmaculata.org.