Do you ever feel like you are stuck in the sludge of negative thinking? Do you ruminate on past arguments wishing you had handled them differently? Do you dread the beginning of the work week or constantly feel anxiety over discussions you need to have with family or friends?
It can be very challenging to break this cycle of toxic thoughts. It is possible, but it needs a bit of work, a little time, maybe a journal and, of course, prayer!
Make it your habit as you begin your day to thank God. Whether you thank Him for another day of being alive or having a comfortable bed, let your first few thoughts be of praise and thanksgiving to Him. At the end of the day, pray an Examen, which is to review your day with God.
First, literally count your blessings. What happened today for which you are grateful? Did anything you dread go unexpectedly well? Thank God for these blessings!
Next, tell God that you are sorry for any wrong you may have committed. Make a resolution to repair anything that you are able. Don’t beat yourself up over them – simply take responsibility for your part.
Finally, ask God for His help in whatever you need. Place your concerns into His hands and say, “Jesus, I trust in You.” Beginning and ending your day with God in this way can really help you to remain positive and hopeful.
One of my favorite scripture passages is Philippians 4:4-9:
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again: rejoice! Your kindness should be known to all. The Lord is near. Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you.”
If you are having a particularly rough day, some time with a journal can be helpful. What are things in your life that you can think of that are true: family love, God’s grace and that there is a lot of good in this world. What can you think of that is pure: your infant granddaughter’s smile when she sees you, an elderly couple you know who still hold hands. You will surely find many things to fit in each of the categories Saint Paul suggests in this passage. As you “think about these things,” you will suddenly feel a smile on your face and even feel less tense.
One last suggestion: Bring to mind anything in your life that stressed you out in the last month, year, (or even your life) that worked out just fine. You may even have a good chuckle as you realize that God has truly brought you through some pretty tough times.
Let us not dismiss, though, that there is real pain, anguish and sorrow in this world. There are matters that we cannot merely brush off; to do so is just plain unhealthy. In those cases, we may need the help of a therapist or a spiritual director. Even small things we have to acknowledge – at least in our hearts. Sometimes, I just have to say, “God, it hurt my feelings when she said that, but she is your daughter and I know you love her – help me love her and help me to forgive her, too. Please forgive me for the times I hurt others’ feelings.” We cannot lie to God. He knows what we are thinking anyway. We might as well tell Him what irks us and offer a prayer for that person!
If you continue to struggle with these feelings, don’t judge yourself. It can take time before you feel a difference. Jesus never promised us that we would be without problems. In fact, He makes sure we know that we will face hardships in life. He does promise us, though, that He will be with us! Let that knowledge give us the hope that brings us peace.
Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM, is the program director at Villa Maria by the Sea Retreat Center, Stone Harbor. For more information about retreats at Villa Maria by the Sea, visit VMbytheSea.com. For information about discerning a vocation with the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Malvern, PA, visit ihmimmaculata.org.
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