Earlier this month, as I thought about celebrating freedom on Independence Day, I remembered a man who once told me about the night he celebrated his 18th birthday.
Nothing was going to stop him from partying that night – even if it was in the middle of winter and there was an ice storm. His parents tried to reason with him: “It’s too dangerous to drive. Why don’t you wait until this weekend.”
He replied, “I’m 18. I’m a man, and you can’t tell me what to do anymore.”
They begged, “It’s terribly dangerous out there. The news stations are saying no one should go out.”
The son retorted, “That’s because they’re old just like you! I’m going out, and you can’t stop me.”
His parents then resorted to yelling at him, but to no avail. The young man stormed out and got into the car; his best friend, his girlfriend and another friend were already inside. Tragically, they were in a terrible car accident, and while all his friends walked away from the crash, the young man was paralyzed from the waist down. To add insult to injury, when he was released from the hospital, he discovered that his best friend and his girlfriend were dating. Talk about completely losing your freedom while trying to exercise it!
This can happen to all of us, albeit usually not so dramatically. When we insist on exercising our freedom, we sometimes hinder it. There are certain addictions that obviously take away our freedom, especially if they are known to cause harm, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, pornography, etc. However, there are also “addictions” that take over our lives that may not be as apparent, such as careers, possessions, sports and even ministry – yes, you read that correctly! If there is anything we put in front of God and family – especially if we defiantly hold onto it as our right to do – it may be hindering our freedom rather than exercising it.
True freedom is having the ability to do God’s will – to become the person God is calling us to be. When we hear of doing God’s will, some of us recoil and think, “but I want to be happy.” The truth is, we are only going to be truly happy when we do God’s will. When we fight against it and resist who God has made us to be, we become unhappy. The more we hold onto what is preventing us from doing God’s will, the angrier we will become – just like that young man.
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you uncover that from which you need to be free. Ask Him for the strength to let go. Make a list of habits or compulsions you had to abandon in the past – perhaps it was smoking, or conversely, an unhealthy obsession with exercise. How does it feel, years later, to no longer be entrapped by these habits? This will certainly encourage you to “clean house” again!
You may have been surprised when I previously mentioned “ministry.” Ministry can hinder us from doing God’s will if it becomes “doing it my way” – not God’s way. When we insist on doing things the way they have always been done, when we refuse to allow others to help us or listen to new ideas, we might be putting our way above God’s way. Perhaps God wants someone else to step up and take the reins – or maybe He wants to free up your time to do something else.
The good news is that the young man grew up and led a positive life. Being in a wheelchair did not prevent him from traveling to share the extremely tough life lesson he learned – and about how to make better choices. His travel companion was his beautiful wife – not the then-girlfriend who had left him in his time of need.
The next time you thank God for the freedom of our country, also thank Him for the gift of free will. Then ask for the ability to listen to Him so that you can discover the plan He has for you – it is better than anything you can imagine!
Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM, is the program director at Villa Maria by the Sea Retreat Center, Stone Harbor. For more information about retreats at Villa Maria by the Sea, visit VMbytheSea.com. For information about discerning a vocation with the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Malvern, PA, visit ihmimmaculata.org.
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