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Unexceptional Christians, lifelong battles and prayer

Carl Peters by Carl Peters
August 30, 2025
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Susan Cheever, in her book about her eminent father, the writer John Cheever, explains that she wants to tell the story of “a man who fought to adhere to some transcendent moral standard until the end of his life.”

In “Home Before Dark” she records that he was an unwanted child who grew up to be a devout Christian (an Episcopalian), who often paraphrased the prophet Micah, “So let us live humbly and give thanks unto Our Lord God.”

But despite her admiration and fondness for her father, she was always afraid of him. Although confident of his love, she winced at his sarcastic, sometimes even cruel, remarks. In her description, he was an exceptionally talented man who struggled with unexceptional problems.

A full decade after his 1982 death, Cheever was introduced to his widest audience through the television series “Seinfeld.”

In “The Cheever Letters” episode, the character George is reading the author’s 1977 novel “Falconer.” He deems it “really excellent.” The book was a bestseller, but Cheever is most highly respected for his short fiction. The volume of his collected short stories won the Pulitzer Prize, the National Book Critics Circle Award and the National Book Award.

Among the dozens of stories in that collection is “The Worm in the Apple.” It is the story of the rich, loving Crutchman family, who are “so very, very happy.” The story is told by a narrator who keeps trying, unsuccessfully, to see through their happy appearance to find the worm in the perfect apple of their life together. But while Helen and Larry Crutchman have struggles – for example, their daughter goes through a wild period, gets pregnant and elopes with a man they do not initially approve of – they manage every challenge gracefully.

Despite Cheever’s conviction that fiction should be read without any consideration of the writer’s biography, the contrast between the fictional happy Crutchmans and the author’s own career, marriage and family is hard to ignore.

In the “Seinfeld” episode, a box of Cheever’s letters are discovered, and they reveal the writer had a romantic relationship with another man (George’s future father-in-law). While the plot is fictional, it’s a true reflection of Cheever’s personal life. In “Home Before Dark,” Susan Cheever recalls getting a phone call late one night from a man who tried to sell her letters that her father wrote to him. The letters would upset John’s widow, he said.

John Cheever was bisexual and had affairs with both men and women. He was also an alcoholic. Unsurprisingly, he and his wife were not, like the fictional Crutchman couple, “so very, very happy.” For years, Susan writes, her parents made each other so miserable that divorce “would have been a relief.”

The one similarity between Cheever and the fictional Larry Crutchman was religious observance. The writer John Updike described Cheever as “a regular, indeed compulsive, communicant at Episcopal morning Mass.”

The first sentences of Susan Cheever’s book are, “When I was young, and my father could see that something was bothering me, he used to suggest that I might try saying a prayer. A prayer for strength, or a prayer for courage.”

Cheever chose to be a writer and thus to accept the periodic financial insecurity of that life. But no one chooses to be an alcoholic. No one wants to struggle with their sexual identity. (That struggle, Susan writes, caused her father “tremendous guilt and self-loathing.”)

In his final years Cheever remained sober with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous. While battling the cancer that killed him, he felt both gratitude and guilt regarding a close friendship he maintained with a man. But, also, his relationship with his wife improved.

“I do believe in God’s will and the ordination of events and perhaps it is stupid of me to question the ordination of my lying on the floor convulsed and senseless,” he wrote in his journal. “It did bring my wife back to me, and I have never asked for anything more.”

A few weeks before he died, Cheever was awarded the National Medal for Literature at Carnegie Hall. The man whose own father had wanted him aborted had more talent, and achieved more recognition, than most people. In his personal struggles, he was less exceptional.

On any given Sunday, in all of our churches, there may be some Larry Crutchmans with near perfect and very, very happy lives. But probably there are more John Cheevers: those of us struggle with our own weaknesses and worries, our own failings and guilt – and pray for strength and courage.

Carl Peters is former managing editor of the Catholic Star Herald.

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