Jesus and all the behavioral scientists will say to us over and over again that the first step in achieving happiness and success in life is to take 100 percent responsibility for everything in our lives.
Jesus and the behavioral scientists will say to us over and over again to take full responsibility for our thoughts. Take full responsibility for our beliefs. Take full responsibility for our emotions. Take full responsibility for our desires. Take full responsibility for our goals. Take full responsibility for what we want to achieve.
Jesus and the behavioral scientists say take full responsibility for your actions. Take full responsibility for everything that is happening in your life. Take full responsibility for what you experience. Take full responsibility for what you achieve. Take full responsibility for the quality of your relationships.
Take full responsibility for the way you think about God. Take full responsibility for the way you think about yourself. Take full responsibility for the way you think about the past. Take full responsibility for the way you think about the future.
All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much you blame another person it never changes you. So, do not blame your parents. So, do not blame your teachers. So, do not blame your pastors. So, do not blame your teammates. So, do not blame your childhood. So, do not blame your race. So, do not blame the weather. So, do not blame your lack of support.
Jesus and the behavioral scientists will acknowledge that parents, teachers, principals, coaches, pastors and childhood experiences have been factors in your life. But they are not the deciding factors. They are not the only factors. If they were the deciding and the only factors, then nobody would succeed in life. Then, nobody could be happy or would be happy.
Epictetus, a second century Greek philosopher, captured all of this very well when he said, “Men and women are not disturbed by things, but rather they are disturbed by the view they take of them.”
Michael Jordan had many early childhood and career setbacks. He would never have made it in the NBA if he did not take responsibility for his life. He did not blame anyone and took full responsibility for his thoughts and his actions.
Helen Keller had many physical disabilities. She would never have inspired millions of people if she did not take full responsibility for her life. She did not blame anyone and took full responsibility for her thoughts and her actions.
Oprah Winfrey had many negative and horrific early life experiences. She would never have become a top daily talk show hostess if she did not take full responsibility for her life. She did not blame anyone and took full responsibility for her thoughts and her actions.
It is not the external factors that limit us. It is not the negative early life experiences that limit us. It is the way we remember them. It is the way we perpetuate the early life experiences. It is what we tell ourselves in this moment about the early life experiences that limit us and cripple us in this moment.
In truth, it is not what happened to us in the past that is the all-important factor in our lives. The all-important factor is how we respond in the here and now to what happened to us in the past. How we respond to the past and the present is completely up to us.
We think the limiting thoughts. We think the negative thoughts. We think we are not good enough. We think everyone has to love us. We think we cannot do it. We think we don’t have enough skill. We think that early life experiences have to control our lives.
Sometimes we misjudge the facts. We waste time in gossip. We defend our self-defeating behavior. We ignore useful feed-back. We deny the truth about the past, about the present and about the future.
Jesus says; “the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Face the truth about reality. Face the truth about yourself. Face the truth about the world. Face the truth about the past. Face the truth about the future. Face the truth about your parents. Face the truth about this present moment.
Self-responsibility and non-blame are at the core of all spiritual growth and development. They are at the core of all success and happiness along the path of life. The truth about yourself, about others, and about the outside world will set you free. Non-responsibility and blame will limit you to a life of unhappiness and misery.
Msgr. Thomas J. Morgan is the retired pastor of St. Thomas More Parish in Cherry Hill.
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