On the night of the Last Supper, Jesus Christ was betrayed by Judas, one of the twelve. The Gospel of Saint Luke tells us Jesus was being taken to the house of the high priest. Peter, the chief apostle, followed him from a distance. Although he attempted to follow the Lord as he entered his Passion, Peter was confronted by those around him.
“This man was also with him.” “You are also one of them.” “Certainly, this man also was with him; for he, too, is a Galilean.” These three statements from the local people put Peter on the spot.
Is he a follower of Jesus or not? Peter answers all three accusations with “I am not.”
When I was in high school, my classmates would often say that I would be a priest one day. It also was kind of the joke that I was the class priest since I would always set up for school liturgies, serve at the parish as an altar server or an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion, and knew a good deal about the faith. Although my classmates picked up on the not-so-subtle hints that I was discerning the priesthood, I always gave a straightforward answer when they asked me if I was entering the seminary: “I am not.”
Like Saint Peter, I followed the Lord from a distance. I loved reading the Scriptures, discussing the faith, participating in the liturgies, but once confronted with the question, “Are you going to become a priest?” I echoed the words of Saint Peter: “I am not.”
Like Saint Peter, I had a fear. His fear was persecution; my fear was others thinking I was weird. The fact of the matter is, I denied Christ by denying my vocation out of fear. I was so fearful of announcing the thought of the priesthood that I did not tell anybody about it. Not even my parents! I think many young men suppress the vocation of the priesthood out of fear of what their peers will think. They are afraid of people labeling them, losing friendships, or possibly being disowned by family members.
I would be lying if I said that none of these thoughts were in my head while secretly discerning. Eventually, however, I had to tell my parents, siblings and other family members about my decision to enter the seminary. As I informed each of them, I remember feeling uneasy. I thought they were going to try to talk me out of it. Surprisingly enough, I did not receive one single objection about my decision. Everybody was supportive of me.
Whenever I think back about suppressing my vocation in public, I realize I had nothing to fear. I’m sure Saint Peter, after being filled with the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, regretted denying Christ and his vocation to be a disciple.
In the end, I should have just owned up to my vocation and said, “Yes, I am a follower of Jesus Christ. Yes, I am entering the seminary because I believe He is calling me to be a priest.” Do not be afraid to embrace your vocation.
Thomas Piro is first theology, Saint Joseph’s Seminary, Yonkers, N.Y.
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