By Deacon Fernando S. Encarnado
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Before leaving Philadelphia and living in New Jersey, my wife and I prayed for two things: a good church and a good school for our two kids.
Our prayers were heard and answered. In summer 2003, my family moved to Blackwood. We found a nice church (Our Lady of Hope Parish) and a good Catholic school for my children. We thanked our Lord and Mama Mary for these great blessings he had bestowed to my whole family. The first three months being in our parish, our pastor asked my wife and I if we wanted to become Eucharistic Ministers. We were both surprised that for all the number of years living in Philadelphia, we never had the opportunity to serve the Church in any capacity. After that, my whole family became active in the parish and my children became members of the choir.
In 2006, my pastor asked if I wanted to become a permanent deacon. Me a deacon? No way, was my response, as I explained to him that I had two small children and didn’t think I could do it. I was scared and felt unworthy. My pastor told me to pray for it and discern. I went home that night, and I couldn’t sleep. I needed some spiritual help.
The first thing I did was visit my parish’s Saint Jude Church after work and pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament in our Adoration Chapel. This is one of those things I have learned is necessary to be in continual prayer with the Father. Not only does this keep our hearts and minds open to the Holy Spirit’s leading, but it also allows the Spirit to speak on our behalf: Romans 8:26-27 states, “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches the hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will.”
The Holy Spirit started to work in me, showing me my childhood days. I started remembering those things I did each morning as an altar server, how I wanted to become a priest when I grew up. I started thinking of all the blessings, and the good life that God has given me. Because of this, I offered myself and decided to join the formation of the diaconate for the Diocese of Camden.
In June 2007, I was accepted to the formation. It was an interesting journey. I met a lot of good guys who had a similar life journey. Each of them had the love for our Lord and love to serve our Mother Church. I learned a lot about Holy Mass, the sacraments, Canon Law and the importance of prayer.
In October 2008, my wife got sick and was admitted to the hospital. I started to worry about a lot of things: her health, our financial needs, the tuition for my two kids, our mortgage, the car insurance, even my acceptance as a diaconate candidate. All these things starting to bother me so much – to the point where I could not sleep anymore. I would be working in the day, and sometimes my mind was not working in a positive way. The worst was when my telephone would start to ring; I would be so scared to pick it up.
One evening, I was so exhausted that I did not even realize I had fallen asleep. While sleeping, I had a dream that I heard a voice saying, “SURRENDER EVERYTHING TO ME, AND I’LL TAKE CARE OF IT.” I can still remember to this day that in my dream I was crying and saying, “Lord I surrender everything to you.” The next day, I received the peace I was looking for.
In May 2015, I was ordained as a permanent deacon. Although I stopped my studies for 1 1/2 years because of my wife’s illness, I did not stop my dream to serve our Lord and his people. Today, my wife is in remission; she’s receiving treatment every month. My two children have graduated from college, and both are employed.
As the Spirit has guided me to this experience, the only thing that I can do is to be confident that the Spirit will lead me safely through whatever challenges life brings my way.
I committed myself as God’s servant, someone who is ready to serve my Church, parish and my beloved brothers and sisters. Praise and thanks to our God and through the loving intercession of my Mama Mary.
Deacon Fernando S. Encarnado serves in Our Lady of Hope Parish, Blackwood.
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