By Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM
As a young woman in my mid-30s I was struggling to understand God’s call for my life. There were three pieces of advice that finally helped me to understand God’s plan.
Pray for God’s will to be revealed rather than tell Him what I wanted. A woman once asked me if I had ever considered religious life. I said, “I’ve thought about it, but don’t feel called.” What I really meant was that it didn’t seem very appealing to me, but to be honest, I never really explored it. She asked me if I prayed for a husband every night, and I responded that I had. She then asked me a pivotal question, “Would you be willing to stop praying for a husband . . . just temporarily . . . and instead ask God to reveal His will for your life?” I agreed to do just that. Miraculously, I started running into religious sisters wherever I went . . . in Valley Forge Park, in a shoe store, even in the emergency room, and finally at a Theology on Tap event. There were four young religious sisters there who were absolutely glowing with joy. I stopped one of them during a break and asked what made her consider religious life. It was too short a break to have a serious conversation, but we agreed to get together for Mass and dinner.
Be honest and unafraid of questions. I continued to meet with this religious sister, and I was very direct with my questions. Formerly, I had been coy with religious sisters and would say, “Well, I know I’m not being called to be a religious sister, but just out of curiosity, I have a question about the vows.” When a religious sister took my word that I wasn’t interested, she didn’t push it. She only answered the surface questions. So, I assumed that I really wasn’t being called. After all, if I was being called, wouldn’t God let that religious sister know? I think I was under the impression that religious sisters were desperate for vocations and that if I showed the slightest interest, they would never leave me alone. Nothing could be further from the truth! Religious communities are only seeking those who are truly being called by God to this life. It takes time to discern a genuine call, and religious communities can help women do that without pressuring them!
Visit convents. Honestly, I kind of avoided religious sisters prior to that Theology on Tap. Inwardly, I hadn’t wanted to become a religious sister, so I had assumed that I wasn’t being called. The issue was that I didn’t really know religious sisters well, so I couldn’t make an informed decision. Once I became open to really talking to religious sisters, I started visiting many different convents. At first, my sense was, “These are good women, and they do good work, but I don’t belong here.” However, when I went to visit the Motherhouse of the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary (IHM) I felt like I was walking home. After a careful, two-year discernment with this congregation, I entered those doors again as a postulant. That was 16 years ago!
“Jesus, I trust in You!” is a beautiful prayer associated with the Divine Mercy devotion. Trusting in Jesus’ plan for our life is the best way to become truly happy. As a religious sister, I am truly living my best life! I have had wonderful opportunities for spiritual, personal, academic and professional growth that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. Once I took a leap of faith and followed His plan for me, I was so glad that I did! God knows exactly what He’s doing – even if we don’t. Today, I am so grateful for having been called to the religious life.
Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM, is the program director at Villa Maria by the Sea Retreat Center, Stone Harbor.
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