By Deacon Dean Johnson
Less than two blocks from the house where I grew up, there was a forest where the neighborhood kids would seek wild adventures traversing an odyssey of wild animals, harrowing cliffs and even quicksand. Actually, it was more like a small patch of woods, bunny rabbits and squirrels, slight inclines and soft sand. But in the imagination of a young explorer, the escapades were real.
Because of the close proximity of the woods to our houses, our fathers used an effective way of communicating when it was time to go home: They shouted our names.
So, when the summer sun caused more shade than light, we would hear our fathers’ voices bouncing off the oaks and pines. Often, when we were engrossed in our play and not ready to go home, we’d act like we didn’t hear the call. Of course, after the third louder and sterner shout of my name, I knew it was time to go.
Often, when God calls – whether whispers or shouts – we try to do our best to act as though we did not hear because we know that would mean we must stop what we are doing to do what we must.
Moses was reluctant when he first heard God’s call. “Who am I, Lord?” he asks. Who is he?
At this point, Moses is a fugitive and a shepherd, and yet God calls him to lead His people out of slavery in Egypt and to the Promised Land. Moses was given by God the laws that bind His people to Him.
In discerning the vocation of the permanent diaconate, we must not see ourselves as unworthy, as not being good enough or educated enough or smart enough or strong enough. We hear that call and follow that call, at least to the point of knowing confidently enough what God wants with us and for us.
The vocation of the permanent diaconate is for a man who, upon reflection of his life, has discovered a pattern of service, of giving, of selflessness over and over again. He may remember participating in service organizations back in high school. He may think about the volunteering he did in college. He realizes that he has been the “go-to” guy when his neighbor needed a helping hand. He knows he is the guy who has always given generously when those in need asked.
He recognizes that he had been on this path all along, when using his talents to aid those less fortunate, when caring for sick or elderly family members, when putting his own desires aside in order to make someone else’s burden just a little bit lighter. So when even a whisper comes to his ear that he should consider becoming a deacon, he may come to realize that all the service he has given during his entire life has led up to this moment because a deacon is less than a “what” and more of a “who.”
A deacon is a servant, the epitome of Christ the Servant, is obedient to his bishop and is ready to head the call for help. All his service leads to the most important goal of all: a closer relationship to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Why did I become a deacon? The best answer to me seems to be … I don’t know. How can anyone know the ways of the Holy Spirit? But, in reflection, looking back at the wake of traversing the odyssey of life’s forest, I can clearly see why I was called to become a deacon. In a way, I’ve known for longer than I realized. I just didn’t respond to the call until the whisper became a shout.
Hearing a familiar voice calling us stops us in our tracks and forces us to make a move: Do we follow our own will, or do we listen to the voice of our Father, and trust the journey he has planned for us?
Deacon Dean Johnson serves at Church of the Holy Family, Sewell.
For more information on discerning a call to the diaconate, visit camdendeacon.org.
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