Learning to forgive is a gift from God to be shared

I was still feeling the sting after a person whom I find difficult confronted me about something in an unreasonable manner. Then, I saw it: a random prayer card someone left behind. Whether it was left by accident or on purpose, I’m sure now that God wanted me to see it. It simply reads, “We love because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

This caught my attention for two reasons: My late brother’s birthday is April 19, and some of the digits in my grandmother’s phone number were 4, 1 and 9. Whenever I see 4:19 on the clock, I pray for both my brother and my grandmother and ask them to pray for me. I also ask Saint Vincent Ferrer, my patron who died in 1419, to pray for me.

What is also remarkable is that the Scripture verse immediately following gives me pause whenever I am mad at someone or feel hurt by a person. “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20)

Yep, God was definitely trying to get my attention. Instead of beating me up for my harsh feelings about this person, though, he brought me back to that verse to remind me, “We love because He first loved us.”

I took the entirety of that passage 1 John 4:7-21 to prayer – and not just a quick skim through it, but real Lectio Divina. I prayed over the passage a few times very slowly, trying to imagine Saint John, a loving but emphatic older brother, sharing with me this very special message. God first loved us. That is why we love – even the people we find most difficult, even when we are tired of forgiving that person yet again – and that is why it also hurts. I imagine how it must hurt God when we do not share the love He has poured out on us, or when we don’t return it to Him. We love because God graced us with the ability to love and the desire to do so.

When I was a teenager, I was terribly insecure about many things. One thing I really did not like about myself: I thought that I was too forgiving. I wanted to stay mad at people, but I could not. When I turned my life over to God, I realized what an asset that was – a gift from God that He was trying to make me, all of us actually, our Father’s daughters and sons in His image and likeness.

The next time you find yourself hurt or angry with someone, do not let it turn into hate. Ask Saint John to pray for you – so much so,  that you fully receive God’s love and cannot help but pour it back out onto the others He puts in your path.

Sister M. Emily Vincent Rebalsky, IHM, is the program director at Villa Maria by the Sea Retreat Center, Stone Harbor. For more information about retreats at Villa Maria by the Sea, visit VMbytheSea.com. For information about discerning a vocation with the Sisters, Servants of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, Malvern, PA, visit ihmimmaculata.org.