There is no greater vocation than to be a father

It was Father’s Day. I was invited to the family cook out. Just before the charcoal got hot the mother and children gave cards and gifts to Dad. There was an assortment of shirts, shorts and ties. There was even an extra large green swimsuit.

On the bottom of one big card, Bob wrote, “Dad thanks for all you have done for me over the past 17 years.”

Bob knew that his dad had loved him and supported him over the many years. Deep down he knew too that he had never expressed his full measure of appreciation. This was his moment to say “Thank You.” This was his moment to express gratitude.

Dad always wanted the best for Bob. He wanted him to be a good person. He wanted him to be successful, happy and capable. He wanted him to be able to make friends and to use his talents. He wanted him to make the world a better place for all humankind.

Dad wanted him to grow up with a strong sense of self-esteem. He knew that self-esteem is the great armor that would protect Bob from the great dragons of life. It would protect him from drugs, alcohol, unhealthy relationships and even delinquency of any type.

The big card gave a big thrill to Dad. It communicated to him something about how Bob felt. It said volumes to him about the dignity, worth and sacredness of fatherhood. It said that Bob believed he did not miss out on a father’s love and a father’s care.

Bob was smart enough to know that we live in an age when about 17 percent of all babies born are without a father’s name and without a father’s care. He knew that there are runaway fathers and part-time fathers. He knew that there are fathers with visitation rights and joint custodies. He was insightful enough to know that he had a special blessing in his life.

Bob knew that most males are capable of fathering a child. They are capable of the biological act. But it takes a special kind of male to be a loving and providing father. It takes a special kind of male to be able to promote the emotional health and spiritual well being of a child; to be in touch with the needs of a child.

Bob knew it was his dad and his mom who led him to see himself as competent, effective and lovable. It was his parents who gave him forgiveness, recognition and admiration. It was his parents who appreciated his dreams and his special abilities. It was his parents who gave him the psychological armor that will protect him for the rest of his life.

Dad knows that to be a good father is a lot of hard work. It requires a lot of time and a lot of energy. It entails the cross in so many forms. It means choosing your words carefully. It means listening with great attention. It means tuning into your children’s good days and bad days.

Dad knows that to be a good father demands an acute awareness of self, others and God. It means knowing that ultimately everything we have as a family is a gift from God. It means going as a family to Sunday worship. It means never missing the liturgy of the Eucharist. For it is the great prayer of the church. It means having a sense of God’s presence. It means praying regularly as a family.

Dad knows that being a good father means eating meals with the family. It means being present for nightly prayers. It means reading a story before the children go to sleep at night. It means going on family outings and picnics. It means being available. It means giving good example. Of course he knew that example speaks louder than words.

There is no greater vocation than to be a father. To be a good father is a great challenge. It is a great service to society. It is a great blessing for the local faith community. It is an awesome service to raise a child who is spiritually and emotionally healthy.

Unfortunately it is difficult to predict how well a father will parent. At least I know Bob thinks his father has done a great job. That’s what counts.

Msgr. Thomas J. Morgan is pastor of St. Mary and St. Thomas More parishes, Cherry Hill.