By Maria Toci D’Antonio, Special Contributor
and Jennifer Mauro, Managing Editor
ABSECON – After 50 years of marriage, Anthony and Charmaine Della Neve aren’t shy about the advice they have for a long and happy marriage.
“I would say, keep your mouth closed. You don’t have to comment on absolutely everything,” Charmaine Della Neve said with a huge grin as her husband gave a chuckle.
“And laugh a lot. I think that helps,” he said, smiling.
The Della Neves, of Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton Parish, were among the 70 couples marking milestone anniversaries during the annual diocesan Wedding Anniversary Mass celebrated Sept. 24 by Bishop Dennis Sullivan in the Absecon church. Gathered with their families and friends, couples married 25, 50, 60 and 70-plus years renewed their wedding vows, with Bishop Sullivan offering prayers and a blessing of rings.
In his homily, Bishop Sullivan spoke on the day’s Gospel of Matthew and the parable in which the workers in the vineyard were all paid the same wage despite when they arrived for the job.
“I suspect most of us think … that it is not fair. The last arrivals received the same pay as the first arrivals who worked all day,” the Bishop preached. “But the Gospel teaching is not about what is fair. Its focus is the owner of the vineyard who acts not according to our standards of fair and just. The teaching is about the extravagant generosity of God. The unlimited mercy of God. The abundant love of God, which the owner of the vineyard represents.
“I suggest that extravagant generosity, unlimited mercy and abundant love have been going on between you husbands and wives for these 25, 50, 60 and 70-plus years of marriage,” he continued. “Your generosity, mercy and love have strengthened your marriage, kept the relationship positive, and helped you overcome the difficulties, problems and sufferings that are found in every marriage.
“At this Mass, we give thanks for the unique love of each couple here. A love that can only be known by each couple. A love that has experienced heartaches and dreams, joys and sorrows, stresses and peace, challenges and resolution. A love in which God is near and has been called upon.”
Robert and Rachel Smith of Saint Gianna Beretta Molla Church, Northfield, know a thing or two about that love. The couple celebrated 70 years of marriage Feb. 8. Their advice for a strong marriage: “Stay connected, stay patient and stay together.”
Adolfo and Consolatrix Eleazar of Saint Mary Parish, Cherry Hill, have been married 60 years. They say faith and good listening skills have been key. “Faith has always been very important in our marriage, and we’ve always tried to pass that on to our three children,” Consolatrix Eleazar said.
Donald and Beverly Emerson, married 50 years, agreed. “Communication, respect and always put the Lord first,” said the parishioners of Holy Eucharist, Cherry Hill.
Sergio and Luz Maria Lopez of Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish, Galloway, have been married 25 years, and they acknowledge that it’s taken them just as long not to take their marriage for granted.
“We used to go year after year without really valuing another year of marriage,” he said. “But the more we started getting deeper into our faith, knowing it better and being able to explain it better, the more we realized it’s been a blessing to reach this milestone and to better understand what our faith means to us and our family, too.”
That faith, and praying together, is advice they offer other couples, in addition to patience because “there are going to be moments when you want to call it quits. But something is going to hold you together, to say, ‘Stay together and work it out. The grace of God is going to save our marriage,’” Sergio Lopez said.
The couple added that though they celebrated their anniversary May 9, they also woke up the morning of the diocesan Wedding Anniversary Mass saying, “Today is the day!”
The Della Neves, who celebrated their Aug. 4 wedding date with a blessing from their pastor, Father Cosme de la Peña, and dinner with family and friends, agreed.
“We are extremely proud to be part of this celebration and feel happy and excited that there was this Mass,” Charmaine Della Neve said. “It’s like the Camden Diocese is also blessing us for making it this far.”
Such blessings are important to the couple, who are lifelong members of the Church. “Fortunately – and it is fortunate because you never know with whom you are going to fall in love – we are both practicing Catholics. So it made it very easy for us to blend. Every big milestone or event in our lives that we’ve celebrated has been centered around the Church.”
It’s that faith that has gotten the couple through the good and bad times. “You’re bound to have ups and downs in a relationship,” Anthony Della Neve said. “But there will always be an upswing, so try to approach the downs in a positive way.”
Maria Toci D’Antonio is communications manager for the Diocese of Camden’s Office of Communications.
at the bottom and then tap “Add to Home Screen”
