It’s been one year, 365 days, 8,760 hours of loving, learning and growing in my marriage to Estrellita (Star) Rodriguez.
Last year around this time, Feb. 12 to be exact, we were married in Saint Francis of Assisi Church, Divine Mercy Parish, Vineland. Through writing, photos and social media, we shared glimpses of our marriage journey, preparation plans and the actual wedding day.
Now, I want to share what this first year has been like for the Missus and I.
Right after our wedding, we took a couple days and visited the nation’s capital. We had a great time. When we arrived home, however, challenges greeted us with open arms, forcing us to jump into the roles of supportive spouses. There was the mourning of lost loved ones, the emotional roller coaster of house shopping and being present for each other, even after a rough day.
In addition, we were learning how to live together, learning about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. There were things in which I was accustomed, and others that were Star’s normal way of doing things. We learned to communicate over a meal and a glass of wine, on a car ride to do grocery shopping, and even through our love languages. We grew, and continue to grow. We pushed through misunderstandings together as a couple, and we are both better for it.
Not only did we learn each other’s dos and don’ts, we also learned how one views the other. In my eyes, my wife is pretty much perfect, something she doesn’t see. I remind her often that she is an amazing wife to me. In the same way, she reminds me that I am indeed husband material. These doubts and concerns, which I am sure many couples face, are real and difficult to process on your own.
Moving in together into a new condo was exciting and challenging in its own right. How was I supposed to tell her that my idea of interior décor was Philadelphia Eagles throw blankets on the couch? Or that the towels in my bathroom didn’t match? I didn’t. We went shopping, and together, we designed our home. We compromised and bought items we both liked, and now our condo is an expression of us – as individuals and as a couple. Though, truth be told, now I only put my Eagles blankets out during the football season!
All these intimate moments of compromise and understanding have brought us joy in ways we never knew possible. I thought I loved my wife the day I said “I do,” but in all honesty, that was only the tip of the iceberg. Every day that passes, we fall more and more for each other, consciously knowing and understanding that some days will be better than others. Realizing we will always love each other – in different ways and on some days, not like the other – and that is OK.
As the Church celebrates the Sacrament of Marriage during National Marriage Week, take some time to reminisce on your wedding day, the nervous and cautious, good and tough times that followed, and how your love has grown and endured.
I consider myself blessed every day to have my best friend by my side, and I continue to prepare through prayer and open communication for what is yet to come. As always, my wife and I keep all couples in prayer, and we ask that you do the same for us.
Jose Rodriguez is the diocesan director of Family and Youth Ministry. Star Rodriguez is director of youth and young adult ministry at Divine Mercy Parish, Vineland. Check out past episodes of their “Keepin’ It Catholic” YouTube show at youtube.com/@TalkingCatholic.
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